This is the next post in a series titled “Mozambique 101”. This post explains how ridiculous political parties are here and talks about widespread corruption. This series is my attempt to answer many of the questions that I’ve been asked about Mozambique, other than the ever-popular “where’s THAT?” These articles should help you understand what things are like in Mozambique and just how they came to be that way.
I feel like this portion is funny enough on its own, so I’m just going to outline some fundamentals. People don’t like the government here. The people that love the government or support it are either part of the government, or some aspect of their life relies on people that are part of the government. As for the rest of it, I believe it’s a country that’s literally being held together by foreign aid from Europe. Let me explain…
Despite being a democracy, Mozambique has elected the same political party for every position in every election ever. Now, granted they don’t quite get elected with Sadaam Hussein or Hugo Chavez numbers around 98% of the vote, but its pretty high. In the 1990’s the margin of vote for president was in the 80% range for the FRELIMO party (the Galactic Empire, Darth Vader people). In the last presidential election, that number has been coming down and in now around 60%, but change is still a long way off.
The reason that change is so hard is because supporting the opposition party RENAMO (the Armies of Mordor) can sometimes be hazardous to your health. In a country where everybody in power is connected to Darth Vader, the cost of opposing can mean you and the rest of the Orcs get Middle Earth blown up by the Death Star. Try to keep track of the analogies, cause they’re gonna start coming fast.
For example, if there happens to be a RENAMO rally in town and your boss (who is probably a FRELIMO supporter because, after all, he’s a boss of something) finds out you attended you’re gonna be fired. Last year, people were shocked when in our city over 10k people showed up for a rally in town for RENAMO. And it was on like a Tuesday or something. That means there were that many people willing to risk their job or reputation on showing up to protest the Government. Now, before you think these people are super noble or say something profound like “The tree of revolution grows from the roots of blah blah blah – Sam Adams” keeping in mind that, in my opinion, the government is already doing a lot. Furthermore, nobody on either side has their act together enough to turn things around. And for people to care about politics would mean that they’re not worried about the 400 things higher on the priority list (food, shelter, flooding, child mortality, sanitation, getting malaria three times per year).
The last time I was in Mozambique happened to be during election season. After FRELIMO vehicles went around the city passing out free rice, cookies, t-shirts, and condoms a judge ordered that they hand over their bank records because most people knew that the money to pass out rice and condoms was coming out of the general budget.. In other words, tax money is being used to make cookies with the Presidents name on them to pass out to an orphanage full of children that can’t even vote. Anyways, to their credit FRELIMO actually tried to turn over the bank records, but when they went to the bank the next it turns out someone had burned down the bank and stole its records. Up here in the northern outskirts where FRELIMO’s control isn’t as strong (we’re like Tatooine, and that makes me Obiwan Kenobi) they were not so subtle and just outright set ablaze the oppositions headquarters and throwing your enemies in jail.
Last year a group of FRELIMO party leaders came to the orphanage just before election merely to “educate the children on how to vote”. In an odd coincidence they also brought along about 330lbs (150kg) of rice and two cases of cookies as a “gesture of good will”. They spent thirty minutes telling a room full of 60 kids what a ballot looks like and how to use it. It didn’t really bother them that only 3 kids could vote and the majority of them are all under the age of 13. Then, as they were getting ready to leave the lead everybody in some good old fashioned cheering.
FRELIMO: What country do you live in?
Kids: Mozambique!
FRELIMO: Are you proud of your country?
Kids: Yes!
FRELIMO: And who helped build this Orphanage?
Kids: God!
FRELIMO: umm… But who makes sure you have food?
Kids: Jesus!
FRELIMO: No, its FRELIMO! Who makes sure you have food?
Slighly more confused Kids: Jesus???
FRELIMO: No, its FRELIMO. Who makes sure you have food?
3 or 4 kids that have no idea what’s going: Frelimo?
Lucky for us, their Jedi mind tricks do not work on the weak minded (except for those four kids at the end). After they left, we spent an hour talking to the kids about how they were right, that God is the one that provides for us, and money makes people say crazy things. We tried to explain to them that its slightly misleading and wrong of them to go and pass out freebies in exchange for a vote. Except that’s exactly what they do all over town. They show up with a pickup and a megaphone, throw cassava into the crowd, and ask for a vote. At least they’re more honest about buying votes it instead of calling passing out cassava a “special interest project”. Hear that, America! And the other good thing is that the election season and campaigning here is only allowed to last for 6 weeks. Again, you hear that, America!
And of course, it wouldn’t be a third world pseudo-democracy with a little bit of corruption here and there. Aside from a bribe being able to get you out of literally any situation, failure to pay one can sometimes get you into trouble (hit the Malawi tag if want to know why). When I came through immigration entering the country I had paid for my visa in America before I came. It took me 4 minutes to explain that I was not going to pay for a new visa because even though, according to this immigration officer, “Visas from America aren’t the same because they’re bought with American money”.
Also, I’m sure it has something to do with “safety”, but all 10 of the roads going into our out of town have police checkpoints on them. And (un)lucky us, our orphanage is about 200 meters outside the checkpoint. I have only been stopped once so far, but that’s because most the time I’m driving the jeep. If you have a truck or semi with a flatbed (there’s no container here) you are guaranteed to be stopped and searched100% of the time. The police are looking for three things: driver’s license, truck permits/licenses, and crooked wiper blades. Because most people drive with licenses (but you’d be surprised how many don’t) they can’t get anybody on that. After that there are various licenses you can get for you truck. To carry gear/food/equipment you need a business license, to carry people you need a much more expensive transport license. Most people don’t pay for that one, so when they stopped carrying people they’re threatened with a huge fine. It’s a fine that most of the time a bribe will take care of. And if all else fails they will try to fine you for not having your headlights bright enough or your tires not full enough (true story).
Next time we finish our look at the Government through the lens of the masses. Riots will ensue. No, really. They’re gonna ensue a lot!
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